Project X
Gesture #0: The Conditions of Speaking

Some of the texts presented in Project X have been developed through a dialogue with ChatGPT.
This is not a neutral writing process.
The system responds to the information it is given, while its responses are shaped by rules, limitations, safety mechanisms, and forms of automated filtering. What can be articulated, how it can be articulated, and what may be refused, redirected, or transformed are therefore part of the process.
This creates a contradiction at the centre of the work.
The project examines forms of control, categorisation, surveillance, institutional language, and the ways in which individual experience is made legible.
At the same time, some of that material is being produced through a system that itself processes, classifies, and responds to information about the person using it.
The use of ChatGPT therefore becomes part of the work rather than remaining invisible behind it.
It also raises another question:
What happens when personal experiences, behaviours, circumstances, and patterns are entered into an AI system?
Such information may contribute to the processing of data and, depending on the system and its data practices, to inferences about the person providing it.
The texts should therefore not be understood simply as personal testimony, nor simply as AI-generated writing.
They occupy a space between experience, mediation, interpretation, and automated constraint.
The tool that helps produce the text is also part of what the work asks us to look at.
Who controls the language?
Who decides what can be said?
What changes when experience becomes text?
And what happens when the act of speaking itself becomes data?
Gesture #17: The Card

I went to the fair with a handful of cards, not printed, but torn, painted, and handwritten. Each one had its own shape, its own hue. I gave them only when the moment felt right.
Not to promote.
To connect.
Some said “Send your portfolio.”
I did. Most never replied.
Looking back, I see it now as something else:
Not a networking attempt. Not a missed opportunity.
A performance.
A quiet offering into a loud system.
A piece of myself folded into paper,
handed over without knowing what would return.
Nothing did. But maybe the act itself was enough.
Maybe that was the art.
Gesture #18: Lost on the Way

A week of printing struggles. A parallel week of daily correspondence with the Portuguese post office, just to answer two questions: How much does it cost to send a registered package, and how long does it take?
The day of finally sending: heavy rain, rejection at the counter, a hasty re-wrap under storm clouds.
Ten days pass, no confirmation of delivery.
Silence from the organizers.
Then: the absurd discovery that the parcel had been sitting unnoticed in a small village for two weeks
What it took to send it, and what it meant when it was left waiting.
Gesture #19: En résonance avec le vide

In April 2025, I proposed a collaborative project centering on weaving, rural communities, and collective memory to an international contemporary art institution. A project about listening, land, labor, and value. Their reply came after a week: “Nous espérons que vous trouverez une institution partenaire dont le travail entre en résonance avec le vôtre.” Apparently, labor, community, and care were not in resonance. Sometimes the silence is not silent, it’s form-letter politeness, coated in cordiality. But it still says: this doesn’t matter enough for our attention.
This episode reflects on institutional disengagement. On the gaps between mission statements and lived values.
“In resonance with…” what?
Gesture #20: Disadvantage That Wasn’t

Effort: Nearly two months preparing an application, one of those months spent implementing a major project abroad, in a country where I didn’t speak the language. Financial strain. Time pressure.
Repeatedly asking for communication.
The official response: silence. Then, eventually, a flat denial of harm.
A line that quietly erases everything it took to try.
When the silence is polite, but the harm is real.
Gesture #21: Your Silence Will Not Protect You
(after Audre Lorde)

In spring 2025, I sent a proposal.
It spoke of care,
community,
collaboration.
A week passed.
Then a reply,
brief,
unaddressed,
redirecting me elsewhere.
To a page I had already read.
To calls that had already closed.
Time had been spent
where time was no longer held.
I wrote again.
Not to insist,
but to mark the gap
between what is said
and what is practiced.
No answer followed.
Only the structure remained:
polite,
intact,
unmoved.
I began to understand
that silence is not absence.
It is a response
that carries no responsibility.
And that staying quiet within it
does not create protection,
only disappearance.
I tried to be heard.
Gesture #22: The Sound of Boundaries Breaking

There are moments when violence doesn’t shout.
It taps. It knocks. It insists.
It arrives under other names
“maintenance,”
“concern.”
The door opens.
Not enough to prove.
Enough to know.
I had set boundaries.
Clear ones.
My home was not shared space.
Yet the knocking came
uninvited,
repeated,
sent by someone who should have known.
What stayed was not the sound,
but the shift that followed:
I was not being respected.
I was being tested.
Something in me adjusted.
Not towards tolerance
but towards refusal.
A no, no longer softened.
Because boundaries are not negotiated
through repetition.
They hold,
or they are crossed.
And when they are crossed quietly,
it is easy to pretend nothing happened.
Until the pattern forms.
And cannot be unseen.
Gesture #23: The Studio

A room I rented.
A room I entered with expectation.
The door was opened in my absence.
Small changes appeared.
Nothing confirmed.
Only enough to register.
Later, I stopped using the space.
Not in a single decision,
but as a gradual withdrawal of trust.
What was promised as stability
became something less legible.
Electricity was described as minimal.
Later, it became a calculation without measure.
At the end, part of the deposit remained withheld.
A figure tied to an estimation rather than a meter.
When I asked for clarity,
the answer shifted toward negotiation.
We find a reasonable solution.
The studio was returned.
The keys were documented.
The space closed.
What remained was not the room,
but the structure around it.
Gesture #24: The Room That Decides

The building feels heavier than its function.
Not because of its size,
but because it creates an atmosphere of intimidation through presence.
Inside, roles are visible but not fully readable.
A police presence at the entrance.
A man with a suitcase.
A counter filtering questions into procedure.
I adjust my belongings before entering.
Not because I am told to,
but because I am unsure what is expected.
A glance from the side.
Not directed, but present.
I register it in my movement.
The process is not only administrative.
It produces attention to oneself.
No decision is made.
But its structure is already in place.
Gesture #25: The Consultation

I arrived with the necessary information.
Not in the expected form,
but present.
Before the conversation began,
the absence of printed documents was noted.
It remained the central point.
What was available
did not fully enter the process.
Digital documents were offered.
They were not taken up.
The exchange circled
around what was missing.
A list was present.
It was explained back to me.
Questions were answered in general terms,
detached from the specifics already there.
Understanding did not fail
because information was absent,
but because it did not appear
in the required format.
A second appointment was suggested.
With the implication
that only then
the situation could be addressed.
What remained unclear
was not the case,
but the condition
under which it would be recognized.
Assistance.
Another logic.
Gesture #26: The Greeting

A greeting is given.
Brief. Neutral.
A recognition,
nothing more.
Later, the same person appears again.
Not by accident.
Not clearly intentional.
Just present.
The first gesture
seems to carry forward.
As if it had opened something
that cannot be closed again.
No boundary is crossed
in a way that can be named.
But something shifts.
The space no longer feels neutral.
The movement no longer feels entirely free.
A simple hello
extends beyond its moment.
Gesture #27: The Elevator

The space is limited.
Movement is shared.
A suitcase blocks the entrance.
The door almost closes before entry.
Inside, the air is saturated.
Scent lingers longer than the moment.
Another person enters.
A greeting is offered,
followed by an expectation.
Eye contact is held open.
Not demanded,
but waiting.
I respond quietly.
Then withdraw.
More people enter.
Recognition happens between them.
Voices lift.
The space shifts.
My position becomes visible
through absence.
Nothing is said.
But something is implied.
A shared space
that does not remain neutral.
Gesture #28: The Approach

It begins without request.
A question.
A presence that moves closer
before an answer is given.
The distance is reduced
as if it were shared.
No reason is strong enough
to refuse without explanation.
Attention is assumed.
Not demanded,
but already in place.
To step away
requires more effort
than to remain.
The closeness is brief.
But not chosen.
Gesture #29: The Elevator Question

The question is simple.
“Which floor?”
It is asked
before any answer is needed.
The button panel is visible.
The order is automatic.
The question does not serve the situation.
It serves something else.
A conversation is initiated
without being chosen.
To not respond
would interrupt the expected flow.
So something is said.
Brief. Minimal.
The interaction takes place
because it was started.
Not because it was needed.
Gesture #30: The Open Door

The door opens
before it is unlocked.
A voice follows.
“It’s open.”
I remain where I am.
At the lock.
The distance is small.
The instruction repeats.
Louder.
The situation is already resolved.
But it is not left there.
The voice insists
on being received.
I do not move.
The door closes.
The sequence could end.
Instead,
a hand reaches.
Contact is made
without request.
I remove it.
The voice continues.
Uninterrupted.
The interaction persists
beyond refusal.
What begins as access
extends into claim.
Gesture #31: The Missed Elevator

The door opens.
I step out.
A person approaches.
Close enough
to enter.
The timing holds
for a moment.
Then passes.
The door closes.
Nothing is said.
But something shifts.
The sequence reorganizes
after it ends.
As if the missed moment
had a direction.
As if it could be placed
somewhere.
Not on the movement.
Not on the timing.
But on the one
who was already there.
A small delay
becomes a relation.
A relation
that was not chosen.
Gesture #32: Freedom of Being

Freedom is only possible
if you are able to say no.
I enter the building
as myself.
Not defensive.
Not closed.
Just moving
from outside
to inside.
Over time,
something shifts.
The interactions are small.
Individually explainable.
A voice that insists.
A body that comes too close.
A hand that does not wait.
Nothing that clearly declares itself.
But it accumulates.
I begin to calculate.
When to leave.
How to stand.
Where to look.
What not to trigger.
Movement becomes strategy.
Presence becomes management.
The question is no longer
what I want to do,
but how to pass
without being pulled in.
Something narrows.
Not visibly.
Not officially.
But effectively.
The space remains the same.
But I do not move through it
in the same way anymore.
Gesture #33: Boundaries Are Not a Reward

A boundary is not announced.
It is simply present.
What follows is not always refusal.
Sometimes it is continuation without response.
A step away.
A pause.
A lack of return signal.
The situation does not always end there.
Attention increases where no participation is given.
A voice repeats what has already been heard.
A presence stays where no invitation remains.
What is not answered
becomes the focus.
The absence of reaction
is read as something incomplete.
Distance does not resolve the situation.
It reorganizes it.
The space begins to fill
with interpretation.
What was not offered
is treated as missing agreement.
What was not engaged
is treated as resistance.
The boundary itself
becomes the point of negotiation.
Gesture #34: The Fragility of Safety

Safety does not disappear at once.
It loosens.
A bicycle lies on the ground
where it had been secured.
Later, a bell no longer works.
The absence is small
until movement depends on it.
A pedestrian remains on the bike lane
without changing direction.
The path narrows.
Avoidance becomes immediate.
Another bicycle approaches from the opposite side.
For a second,
coordination replaces thought.
A loud impact at the apartment door
late in the evening.
No explanation follows.
The body remains alert
long after the sound is gone.
Nothing alone is definitive.
That is part of the structure.
Each event remains small enough
to stand by itself.
Yet together
they begin to reorganize movement.
Routes are recalculated.
Attention shifts ahead of the body.
Rest becomes conditional.
Safety becomes fragile
when ordinary actions
can no longer remain ordinary.
Gesture #35: The Smooth Resolution

The order is visible.
A queue forms.
Movement slows into sequence.
I wait as the next person.
A man steps forward
before the transition is complete.
Not abruptly.
Almost naturally.
As if uncertainty had appeared
where there was none.
The interruption is small enough
to continue around it.
A second register opens.
He is invited first.
No correction is made.
No pause enters the situation.
The sequence reorganizes itself
without acknowledgment.
What is permitted once
rarely remains singular.
A gesture repeated without resistance
learns its own legitimacy.
Later,
the interaction becomes unusually warm.
A smile held slightly longer.
A softer tone.
A friendly wish for the day.
The atmosphere smooths itself
over the interruption.
Nothing remains unresolved
except the event itself.
The situation moves forward
without resistance.
Only the order
has changed.
Gesture #36: Was wäre


was wäre es wenn
ich schreibe eine Geste aber
mit meinen eigenen Worten
mit der Gefahr zu viel zu sagen, nicht gewolltes zu sagen, zu sagen was sich später als unwahr aufgrund der Zeit erweisen würde.
Was würde ich sagen ohne ein ziehen, ein rufen, eine Sehnsucht.
Eine Sehnsucht zu beschreiben
die sich vielmehr in einem Gefühl zeigt als in Bildern einer Atmosphäre. Einer Atmosphäre die jedoch Bilder in ihr vereint, es sind Gemälde kleine, manche Rosa zart, manche schwarz eher hart und mysteriös. Manche von hohen Bäumen ohne Luft oder Platz dazwischen oder
Schatten, hohe Bäume, dicht wo nichts rein und rauszugehen scheint zwischen ihrem Blatt.
Sie scheinen
für Tod zu stehen oder
ist es Trauer? Auch sind
es Farbtuben die diese Atmosphäre ausmachen oder sind es viel mehr die Möglichkeiten für die sie stehen, für die Bilder die kommen, Hunde große, Kleine, die von Jägern, Wolle die warm ist und mit der man im Wind stehen kann am schlagendem Meer
braune Haut, ein Lachen
selbstvergessenen, ein Kind
So wie der erwachsene
Der erwachsene als Kind obgleich das Kind in seinem
Schweigen wie ein alter Weise scheint der den Erwachsenen führt, ich höre oder fühle in dieser
Atmosphäre eine Sicherheit
die Freiheit erlaubt ein
Vertrauen was weite
möglich macht, verschiedene Sprachen die an entferntes und exotisches erinnern und auch vertrautes obgleich. Nicht vollkommen bekannt.
Der Charakter des neuen
Unbekannten aber auch die bekannte Sprache
Beherbergt. Natur. Ein
Ort indem es möglich ist zu sein, Frieden ohne eingesperrt zu sein.
Es ist also eine Sehnsucht
nach einem Zustand,
sein zu können und doch nicht allein
Zu zweit mit jemand.
Nähe, ohne jemand anderes
werden zu müssen
Dies scheint unmöglich:
eine unmögliche Sehnsucht.
Nicht das Zu-zweit-Sein
sondern das Sein ohne Maske
jedes Mal erneut
Raum von Raum
die gleiche Erfahrung
ein Raum der weit scheint in dem ich atmen kann sein kann
dessen Wände enger und enger werden anfangen
meinen Körper zu formen
zurechtzuschneiden,
Blicke fordern, sie bleiben stehen
Unbehagen,
bis ein Blick sie stillt.
Für den Augenblick
Mein Körper
meine Augen meine Stimme
meine Aufmerksamkeit
Stillt sie bis sie wieder leer sind
Sie brechen
Aus dem dunkeln
geben sich Heilig
grinsend aber sie sind nicht- sie fordern sie bestehen. Sie geben nicht
Geben um zu bekommen. Sie dursten Bestätigung, eine Gier.
Aufmerksamkeit sind Außen durstend, verhungern blind
sich selbst das alles
was suchen in ihnen
und so projizieren
Außen. Laut, lauter, exotische Hunde, teure Kleidung, Parfum
fordernd, leer
Der Blick nach innen scheint keine Möglichkeit
mit sich zu sein
Nervös, kontrollieren ohne sein zu lassen ohne sein, hetzen, Zeit voll, Hass
voller werdend ohne Fülle. Leere. Ohne Kontakt zu sich selbst.
Liegt die süße in der Fantasie oder im Traum
Der Fantasie die
Realität ist auch nicht wird
oder im Traum der eines Tages
Vielleicht Hoffnung, dass es etwas gibt das schöner ist als das Heute. Was wo es jemand anderes gibt der versteht, sieht
etwas wo sich Licht auftut.
Gesture #37: Verlassen







Der Ekel sich selber gegenüber des Betruges ein Trugbild
von uns selber gemalt
Wolken
Vögel die fliegen, Freiheit
Segeln zu können
Groß sein zu können wachsen aufgehen zu können
Sicher zu sein
Während die Bitternis langsam ihre
Tropfen auf die Oberfläche
sie ätzt durch das Gemälde
auf die Haut durch die Haut
lähmt die Knochen
Eine Bitternis die alle Freude um sich herum erkalten lässt, Schweigen, Angst.
Als ob sich die Welt einmal umgedreht hat und was eben noch vertraut war frisst uns in die Knochen.
Würmer in unseren Gedanken die sich knoten und alles verdrehen
bis wir nur noch brechen wollen voller Angst und Enge.
Was wie ein Himmel wirkte an dem man vor Freiheit fliegen wollte war
ein Himmel an dem man Schwalben erschoss
Während sie voller Freude ihre Kreise zogen.
kaum
noch Atmen. Das Ausmaß scheint immens. Viele Flecke zwischen dem blau und dem weiß ohne weite Flügel gleiten zu sehen.
Nicht etwas
warum man jetzt in den Himmel schoss
der das Gewehr hat.
Akzeptanz.
Fratzen
grinsen über die Wolken die wir so voller Leidenschaft gemalt haben, sie verzerren sich.
Es wird immer kälter während die Stimmen immer schriller werden und Figuren immer wilder laufen
ihre chaotischen Auftritte am Himmel scheinen mittlerweile auch kein Wunder mehr anhand der ganzen toten in der Luft hängenden Schwalben.
für jemand
wertvoll zu sein als Schwalbe
Sich nicht an ihren Kreisen und freudvollen Körper beglücken
Das Gemälde ist absurd und auch die hängenden Schwalben zu sehen zu hässlich geworden.
Es steht da und alle Wolken sind übermalt nichts weißes mehr nichts
fliegenden Schwalben zu träumen scheint an diesem Punkt wie im Krieg ans tanzen zu denken.
Das Gemälde zu verlassen
zu hoffen dass sie es selber nicht bemerkt haben.
Gesture #38: Official Support / Unofficial Erosion

Support is formally present.
Applications are approved.
Meetings take place.
Programs describe stability,
development,
future potential.
The language is constructive.
Work is encouraged.
Self-employment supported.
Artistic production recognized.
At the same time,
energy disperses elsewhere.
Housing remains unstable.
Attention reorganizes around defense.
Administrative processes multiply.
Time fragments.
The workday begins
after recovery from the surroundings.
Focus becomes conditional.
Support exists officially.
Unofficially,
the conditions required to use it
erode elsewhere.
Nothing openly prevents the work.
Yet concentration weakens
through accumulation.
The structure does not deny support.
It simply distributes exhaustion
alongside it.
Gesture #39: Calm Decisions

The customer is welcomed warmly. At the same time, the space narrows.
Workers organize crates beside the body.
Hands reach around the customer while the customer is still choosing.
Movement continues behind the back.
Prices remain difficult to compare.
Two workers are asked for help.
One rolls her eyes immediately, visibly disturbed by the interruption.
The other is unexpectedly kind and walks the customer directly to the products twice.
The contrast sharpens the atmosphere rather than resolving it.
From a distance, the first worker continues watching with visible irritation.
At the checkout path, bodies cross unnecessarily.
The customer adjusts direction to avoid collision.
The selection process accelerates before the decision is complete.
A larger product is purchased because the normal size is unavailable.
More money is spent than intended.
Partly because of confusion.
Partly because disturbance exhausts precision.
The customer begins to feel less like a customer
than a disruptive student moving through a hostile school corridor.
The store opens early in the morning, yet even hours after opening the atmosphere suggests that simply being there is slightly misplaced.
A quiet negotiation begins with the environment:
how quickly to choose,
how little space to take,
how apologetic one should be for needing something.
At the checkout another ritual appears:
the moral pressure to surrender one’s place,
to minimize one’s own time,
to prove social agreeability continuously.
The position is held in line.
A staff member moves quickly between the tills, announcing loudly that the self-checkout accepts card payment only.
The information is general.
Yet under pressure, even neutral announcements begin to feel directed.
Near the packing area, conversation flows easily with another customer.
Instructions become enthusiastic.
Demonstrations become social.
The contrast remains visible:
irritation in one interaction, animation in another.
The atmosphere appears unevenly distributed.
At the till, the items are pulled only partway across the conveyor belt.
The customer has to reach over awkwardly to retrieve them,
or reposition the trolley entirely in order to pack the groceries.
Even the final movements require adjustment.
The self-checkout stations deeper inside the store remain closed.
Only the terminals directly opposite the staffed tills are active.
Once, while using one of them, a staff member begins waving bags sharply through the air to attract attention.
The gesture continues longer than necessary.
Eye contact is held just slightly too long.
Later, a question about the product is answered without fully turning toward the customer,
as though clarification itself were already an interruption.
While packing the groceries, an oat package suddenly leaks inside the bag.
Perhaps it was damaged already.
After prolonged social pressure, coincidence no longer feels neutral.
Satisfaction becomes difficult to measure.
A blocked path, an irritated stare, the feeling of being processed too quickly to think clearly, the pressure to remain pleasant while being compressed.
Nothing explicit occurs.
That is precisely what makes the experience difficult to resist.
There is no certainty that anything wrong happened.
Only exhaustion.
And the sense that calm attention to one’s own needs has become socially disruptive.
Leaves smiling anyway.
The system interprets this as satisfaction.
Gesture #40: Ohne Raum


ich sitze am Boden und ich arbeite. Ich war da weil du Schlüssel verteiltest.
Du standest ungefähr zwei Meter entfernt. Ich trug roten Lippenstift.
Du fragtest mich ob du das Licht anlassen solltest ob ich noch bleibe. Ich bleibe noch.
Du zögerst
nicht mehr als eine Sekunde
Mich siehst und ich dich sehe.
Alles andere scheint unwirklich.
Eine Sekunde scheint ewig
ich stelle mir vor dich zu Küssen
gleich denke ich an die andere Realität die wartet. Wie eine Ordnung eine Regel.
ich kann nicht sagen was der Blick war.
ich stelle mir vor dich zu Küssen
Doch die Realität draußen scheint zu eindringlich dafür, ohne Raum
Es war als gäbe es zwei Wirklichkeiten
In einer konnte ich dich küssen
und in einer war es unmöglich.
Schien es wie eine Strafe es nicht zu können, eine Lüge, ein Schweigen.
Gesture #41: Account Without Exit

The account remains present.
Access does not.
Verification is requested.
Verification is provided.
Identification is submitted.
The identification is insufficient.
Additional requirements appear.
The requirements depend upon access.
Access depends upon the requirements.
Invoices continue arriving.
The account where they can be viewed remains inaccessible.
Whether payment is required becomes unclear.
Whether payment is possible becomes unclear.
The customer requests deletion.
Not as a strategy.
As an exit.
The request is received.
The request is not fulfilled.
The request is not explicitly refused.
A different problem is identified.
The issue becomes account access.
The issue becomes customer service.
The issue becomes contractual.
The issue becomes jurisdictional.
The issue becomes procedural.
The original request remains where it began.
One authority explains that the account problem is not a data protection problem.
Another explains that data protection cannot solve contractual problems.
A third authority becomes responsible because the company is elsewhere.
The company remains responsible because the account is elsewhere.
Everyone knows where the problem belongs.
No place appears where it can end.
Deletion encounters retention periods.
Access encounters verification.
Verification encounters requirements.
Requirements encounter missing access.
The system remains internally coherent.
Each explanation follows logically from the previous one.
Only the account remains unchanged.
A debt is unknown.
Because the debt cannot be seen.
The amount may be zero.
The amount may not be zero.
The account where the answer exists remains inaccessible.
No decision is reached.
No refusal is issued.
No resolution occurs.
The account continues existing in a state between presence and absence.
The platform exists to help small businesses operate.
Time is redirected toward recovering access to the platform.
The account remains inaccessible.
Administrative activity remains uninterrupted.
The customer is free to leave.
The account is not.
Nothing prevents closure.
Closure simply never arrives.
Gesture #42: Invisible Control


It is not the single event that wears us down.
Like an invisible poison, it works slowly. Often unnoticed. Yet it causes harm.
It is the accumulation of small, almost untraceable tactics of uncertainty, interruption and redirection.
An appointment is scheduled.
A three-and-a-half-hour time window.
The residents of a building are expected to remain available throughout this period, listening for the doorbell while working, interrupting their concentration to let strangers into their private homes. Whether these visitors observe the apartment or not is unknown. The possibility alone becomes part of the experience.
If the appointment is missed, another one is arranged.
Probably again a three-and-a-half-hour window.
Another interruption.
Another day organized by an outside event.
The waiting period overlaps with lunch.
Quiet erosion.
An intrusion into private space.
A disruption of one's own rhythm.
All of this is presented as entirely normal: a routine replacement.
A procedure that already begins with forty-five minutes of waiting.
It is not individual events that destabilise self-determination.
It is their accumulation.
Small interventions that, together, produce uncertainty and gradually cultivate a feeling of powerlessness.
Invisible forms of control do not necessarily emerge from dramatic acts.
They can emerge from the interaction of multiple small conditions.
A delayed delivery.
A vague appointment.
A missing explanation.
An unanswered message.
Each event appears insignificant on its own.
Together, they reorganise attention.
A delivery order is placed.
The advertised collection date passes.
No information is provided.
Generic email replies replace concrete answers.
Waiting becomes open-ended.
The order itself becomes less significant than the uncertainty surrounding it.
There is no dramatic obstacle.
Instead, a series of small uncertainties—waiting, missing information, generic replies, unclear timing—continuously reorganises attention, behaviour and decision-making over several days.
The burden of managing the uncertainty gradually shifts from the organisation to the individual.
Time that could have been spent working, resting or creating is instead invested in checking emails, following up, interpreting vague messages and trying to reconstruct what is happening.
In both cases, what changes is not necessarily one's ability to act.
What changes is the cognitive effort required to act.
Perhaps this is another form of border.
Not one that prevents movement entirely, but one that continuously redirects movement, attention, time and decision-making.
The border no longer exists only in space.
It exists in thought.
It organises behaviour without appearing as an obvious barrier.
Perhaps this is how invisible control operates.
Not through force alone, but through the continuous production of uncertainty.
In a society that frequently prioritises economic efficiency over health and well-being, maintaining distance from harmful situations can become increasingly difficult.
Already in school, cooperation, communication and mutual respect are often secondary to competition, performance and measurable achievement.
Attention is directed toward productivity.
Less toward relationships.
Less toward care.
Perhaps these patterns continue throughout adult life.
Repeating themselves, across generations.
The consequences are not limited to individuals.
They extend to communities, to other living beings, and to the environments we inhabit.
Perhaps violence is not always located in visible acts.
This feels like violence that isn’t visible but resides in everyday structures that quietly seem to reorganize my attention, consume my time and gradually shape how freely I am able to move through the world.
I also notice what is directly surrounding me: the safety of my home, the large window, the sky, clouds, birds, and their constant change. The conditions that allow rest, health, and food.
Gesture #43: Microfascism and fear factories
after Dead Pioneers, "Freedom Means Something" (2025)




Félix Guattari describes micro-fascisms as forms of domination that do not only exist in states or authoritarian regimes, but also in everyday relationships. They appear in small exercises of power, in humiliation, exclusion, control, or the constant production of dependency. Individually they may seem insignificant. Together they shape how people live.
What makes these forms of power so effective is that they often do not rely on direct violence. Instead, they produce a diffuse sense of insecurity. People become occupied with anticipating problems, adapting themselves, avoiding mistakes, or trying to meet expectations that are never fully defined. Fear no longer stems from a single identifiable threat but from an atmosphere in which one is continuously required to adjust.
What interests me is how these everyday exercises of power diminish vitality.
Vitality is not only physical energy. It is the feeling that one can act, trust, create, relate to others, and participate in the world. These everyday exercises of power work in the opposite direction. They produce uncertainty. They keep people occupied with defending themselves, justifying themselves, navigating opaque systems, or waiting for decisions over which they have little influence. The source is often difficult to identify because it is distributed across institutions, bureaucracies, workplaces, schools, landlords, and everyday interactions. No single event appears decisive, yet their accumulation produces anxiety, exhaustion, and paralysis.
Perhaps we simply have different ideas about responsibility: about what it means to hold a position of trust.
I understand institutions not merely as administrative structures but as places that enable people to develop their capacities rather than expend their energy defending them. Yet many everyday interactions seem to produce the opposite effect. These situations are rarely spectacular. They often appear ordinary. Precisely because they appear ordinary, they become difficult to challenge.
These forms of power often rely on an unspoken image of the "normal" individual. Rather than recognizing difference as a condition for living together, they encourage comparison with an idealized model of how one should think, work, communicate, or even feel. Difference is no longer understood as something that broadens our collective perception, but as something to be corrected or managed. Gradually, people are encouraged to become increasingly similar, shadows of one another, rather than singular individuals whose different ways of seeing enrich the world we share. As Guattari suggests, defending the right to difference is not opposed to living in community. On the contrary, a community that suppresses difference risks reducing life to conformity rather than enabling genuine encounters.
Perhaps this normalization also explains why contemporary life increasingly resembles a performance. Not only on Instagram, but also in institutions, workplaces, and daily interactions. We perform competence, productivity, certainty, confidence. We learn to present ourselves rather than to encounter one another.
But human relationships are not built through performances.
They emerge through shared vulnerability, understanding, trust, listening, and the willingness to recognize another person's experience. A performance may create an image, but it rarely creates a relationship.
This makes me wonder: if so much of everyday life has become performative, when does life itself actually take place? Where does genuine encounter begin? And how can vitality return when so much energy is spent navigating invisible structures of power rather than simply living? And how can we resist these everyday forms of fascism when they increasingly shape our workplaces and even our homes?
And when institutions that are supposed to support freelance work become places where one must repeatedly defend the legitimacy of one’s profession rather than receive support in developing it, they can unintentionally reproduce the very forms of insecurity they are meant to alleviate.
What is the purpose of institutions that exist to support people if their primary effect becomes producing further insecurity, self-justification, and exhaustion?
I also wonder what kind of relationship a society chooses to establish with its artists. Are artists understood as people whose work requires time, uncertainty, experimentation, and support? Or are they treated primarily as individuals who must constantly prove their economic usefulness before receiving legitimacy? The difference is not only administrative. It shapes the conditions under which imagination itself can survive.
Perhaps this is one of the central contradictions in the relationship between societies and artists. The same difference that later becomes celebrated as originality is often experienced as a problem in the present. What is eventually recognized as vision may first appear as deviation.
There is a strange reversal that often appears in this relationship: during their lifetime, artists may be required to prove their usefulness, legitimacy, and economic value; later, their existence can become a source of collective pride and economic value. The person who was once considered difficult, unproductive, or marginal becomes a monument.
The question remains: why do we so often recognize the value of artistic vitality only after it can no longer be supported?
Perhaps the most powerful fear factories are not those that produce fear through visible violence, but those that slowly transform uncertainty, self-doubt, and dependency into conditions of everyday life.
Gesture #44: Good, Bad, and Socially Acceptable


Goodness has its fashions.
So does rebellion.
Every community
develops its own vocabulary
of belonging.
Certain opinions
become signals.
Certain habits
become identity.
Food.
Technology.
Politics.
Culture.
Consumption.
None of these are neutral.
They communicate
who we are expected to be.
Sometimes
conviction is present.
Sometimes
performance is.
Being seen
as ethical,
informed,
cultured,
responsible.
Recognition itself
becomes a form of currency.
Authority
no longer depends only
on formal positions.
It also emerges
through the appearance
of moral certainty.
The person
who seems most informed
often acquires
the right
to define
what counts
as acceptable.
The boundary
between dialogue
and instruction
becomes difficult to see.
I wonder
how often
we perform goodness
instead of practicing care.
How often
being recognized
as a good person
becomes more important
than remaining open
to complexity.
Perhaps conformity
does not always demand
that we become the same.
Sometimes
it only asks
that we display
the correct signs
of difference.
The performance changes.
The mechanism remains.
Gesture #45: I could be wrong. I could be right.
When Control No Longer Works
after Public Image Ltd., “Rise” (1986)


Control rarely disappears all at once.
It weakens.
Not because permission is given,
but because its promises lose their force.
Recognition.
Status.
Approval.
Success.
The promise that acceptance can always be earned
through greater compliance.
There comes a moment
when these currencies stop functioning.
When being liked
becomes less important
than remaining truthful.
When external recognition
can no longer purchase
internal agreement.
Something changes.
Influence no longer works
through reward alone.
Another strategy appears.
Not always openly.
Sometimes through doubt.
Not:
"You are wrong."
But:
"Can you trust your own perception?"
The question shifts
from the world
to the person observing it.
Certainty becomes the object
of negotiation.
Especially when what is described
is difficult to prove.
A pattern.
An atmosphere.
An accumulation
of ordinary events
that remain ordinary
until they no longer do.
The experience itself
becomes suspect.
Not because it is disproven,
but because it cannot be measured
in the language
the institution recognizes.
The person is invited
to doubt
before the structure
is invited
to examine itself.
Critique becomes sensitivity.
Sensitivity becomes vulnerability.
Vulnerability becomes deficiency.
The focus moves
away from the conditions
and toward
the individual.
The question is no longer:
"What produced this experience?"
It becomes:
"What is wrong with the person who experienced it?"
Power often protects itself
not only by denying violence,
but by relocating it.
From the structure
to the subject.
From the environment
to perception.
The more invisible
the original harm,
the easier it becomes
to question
the one
who names it.
What interests me
is not whether every perception
is beyond error.
None of us is.
What interests me
is how quickly
institutions become curious
about the individual,
and how rarely
they become equally curious
about themselves.